It's You vs. You
So why not be on the same team?
Hey there! I’m Robert. Welcome to a free edition of my newsletter. Every week, I share my story of bootstrapping my AI startup focused on hyper-personalization and Alignment. I’m documenting my journey to become my best self—and helping humanity do the same to survive and thrive in the age of AI.These newsletters include my reflections on the journey, and topics such as entrepreneurship, startups, growth, leadership, communication, product, and more. Subscribe today to become your better self.
It’s You vs. You
Many can relate to this growing up at some level: giving up their authentic self in favor of the attachment and approval with their parents.
Like when you’re told to quiet down. Or that you’re too much. Or when you don’t feel like you’re enough.
You create a false self, you give up your true self. You trade authenticity for attachment and approval.
There is no good, bad, right or wrong here. There just is.
The wound starts when the parent doesn’t create a safe space for the kid to express themselves and their emotions and needs authentically. The wound deepens every single time the kid makes that trade-off.
When that kid becomes an adult, they continue that trade.
You trade your authenticity for attachment and approval now not from your parents but from society.
From your boss, from your teammates, from your peers, from your colleagues, from your partner.
Because it’s what you were nurtured to know.
It’s because your central nervous system has baked into it that you need to continue exiling your true self to survive.
You never knew you could yearn for your own attachment and approval.
So you grow up, and you live with this lingering feeling of emptiness... the sense that everything is just a bit more dull.
Everything that healed people around you find colorful, you find just a little bit grey and lifeless.
It’s hard to be present, the inner critic is loud and strong in its judgments. And its judgments about its judgments. Constant.
There’s an elephant with its foot on your chest on your vocal cords straining your true self from speaking.
That elephant is you.
Every moment when underneath the surface was a no, and above the surface came a yes, is one of those trades.
Each of those trades is another dagger stabbing your true self, your authentic self.
So you move about the world bleeding out, invisible blood, feeling empty.
The blood of your true self. Your inner child is wounded because they were never allowed to exist.
Who did the stabbing? Who holds the knife?
More importantly, who holds the love to heal?
Also, you.
And now that you see,
What do you do?
Sources of inspiration and evidence supporting thought process:
Distilling the concept of authenticity
Attachment, Self-Esteem, and Psychological Distress: A Multiple-Mediator Model
Short newsletter this week, which is a mini essay I wrote reflecting on how life is just really down to You vs. You at the end of the day, and how your brain wires itself through the nurture of your childhood towards survival and actualization. Some of that wiring may no longer serve you as you grow older. I’ve certainly found that in my case.
You hold the power to change your habits and beliefs though. I’ve also certainly found that in my case.
I’ve found there’s a lot of noise in life that separates you from yourself.
Getting that self-alignment so it’s You AND You is your job. It’s not an easy one, though it is a worthwhile one.
Anyone out there reading, you got this!
Just keep getting after it.
Attack your challenges and obstacles relentlessly.
Stay persistent.
I believe in you.
Let me know what you think of this style of writing! I’m always curious to get your feedback.
Build In Public Update
I have some exciting news to share on the startup front, but that will have to wait for another few weeks as it’s sensitive information. Stay tuned.
In the meantime, for a quick build in public update, we’ve been hard at work with rebranding our Epistemic Me SDK to Clarity after learning more from market signals about what resonates in terms of positioning.
Our unique advantage and positioning: we help you understand your customers better. Not just the actions they take, but the why and causal structures behind the actions.
That’s what’s been resonating in terms of sets of problems we are uniquely positioned to solve well.
We’ll have B2B Clarity—with a Clarity API, helping businesses understand their customers better.
Many software companies find themselves in the situation where they have a ton of fragmented customer data across departments and silos. We help integrate customer data across all points in the customer journey to drive intelligence, decision support, and context to cross-functional teams, applications, and products. We specialize in hyper-contextual representations for AI powered experiences. This is neuroscience and philosophy meets Customer Experience! I’m so excited about this. We’ll have more we can share in the new year.
We’ll also have B2C Clarity, powered by the Clarity API, to help individuals feel a stronger sense of identity and see progress towards their best self. We’re currently still in closed beta, feel free to sign up for the waitlist here.
From here, we’ll keep pushing the gas pedal towards traction and empowering everybody on the planet to become their best selves and grow with AI!
Keep getting after it. 💪
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P.S. If you haven’t already checked out my podcast, ABCs for Building The Future, where I reflect on my founder’s journey building my AI startup in the open and invite awesome guests building the future to talk about theirs. Check out my learnings on product, leadership, entrepreneurship, and more—in real time!
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