š¤ My Secret Weapon for Clear Thinking
The ONE protocol I wish I knew 20 years ago
Hey there! Iām Robert. Welcome to a free edition of my newsletter. Every week, I share 1 piece of advice š, 1 breakthrough recommendation š, and 1 challenge š„ to help leaders in tech achieve a growth mindset, transform their communication & influence, and master their emotions. Subscribe today to become the person and leader that people love, respect, and follow.
Most people donāt think things through.
As a leader, you spend valuable political and social capital every time you speak.
That capital directly impacts your influence.
Your clarity of speaking depends onā¦
ā Your emotions, which depends onā¦
ā Your mental game, which depends onā¦
ā The amount of quality time youāve spent clarifying your thoughts and feelings.
How might you optimize this?
Writing.
The best leaders arenāt just great talkers. Theyāre great writers.
Not because they craft Pulitzer-winning essays.
Not because they have some magical way with words.
But because they know how to process their own thoughts before putting them into the world.
They actually just spend the time that most do not.
One tool Iāve loved for this, is expressive writingāthe kind that forces you to untangle your emotional and mental knots before they strangle you.
So what is it?
Letās dive in.
This Weekās ABC
Advice: How I use expressive writing to process emotions and lead with clarity.
Breakthrough: A podcast episode that will change the way you think about writing and emotions.
Challenge: Use the writing protocol, and level up your mental game.
š Advice: The 1 Protocol I Wish I Knew 20 Years Ago
āWriting forces a person to organize and structure an event, which helps them gain insight into their experience.ā
āJames Pennebaker
I used to think writing was for writers.
Most people avoid writing down their thoughts becauseā¦
ā They donāt think theyāre āwriters.ā
ā Theyāre afraid of what theyāll find.
ā Theyād rather āpower throughā their emotions.
But thatās the problem.
Unprocessed emotions are like a pressure cooker, waiting to blow up (thatās what I learned in therapy).
Turns out, writing is for anyone who wants to beā¦
ā A better leader
ā A clearer thinker
ā Less of a reactive mess under pressure
Which, *checks notes*, should be everyone.
Hereās my favorite protocol to write through emotionally difficult times (and I find it works for intellectually challenging chaos too!).
The 4-Day Expressive Writing Protocol (Backed by 200+ Studies)
Dr. James Pennebaker, a psychology researcher, found that people who wrote about their most emotionally charged experiences for just four days sawā¦
Lower stress & anxiety
Stronger immune function (yes, really)
Improved emotional intelligence
Hereās How To Do it:
Set a Timer for 15 Minutes: No distractions. Just you and the page.
Write About a Challenge Youāre Facing: Work-related, personal, whatever.
Let It Be Messy: No structure. No editing. Who cares about grammar, or spelling. Write like no one will ever read it. This is just for you.
Repeat for Four Days: Each day, go deeper. Look at the event from different angles. Ask yourself, What did I learn? How has this shaped me?
My Personal Template
I know I just said no structure, but hereās my lightweight structure.
Iāve used this for all of my traumatic and emotionally challenging experiences, to great effect.
Facts: What were the facts about the experience?
Feelings: What did I feel about the experience? What do I feel now thinking about it?
Links: What other memories or experiences come up when thinking and writing about this experience?
What Happened When I Tried This
Through December and January, I found myself stuck in my own head when my dog, Nibbler, passed away.
He was my little son. My gift from the world.
My heart felt like it didnāt exist during this time period.
And I kept ruminatingā¦
āWhy did I go to the gym that day?ā
āWhat could I have done differently?ā
That type of helpless, ceaseless rumination.
Every time this happened, I wrote about it. It was painful.
No filter.
Just raw, unpolished frustration,
sadness,
depression,
and guilt.
It wasnāt easy. The emotions were intense. Buckets of tears were shed.
Though, every single sessionāI could feel something shift.
I named all my feelings.
I gave structure to the chaos inside me.
And it brought me a clearer mind and a fuller heart.
This is why expressive writing works.
It takes the unprocessed mess in your head and turns it into something you can actually deal with.
Iāve found that when you confront the demons inside of you, they become angels.
Now, I can think about Nibbler and 99.99999% of the time Iām just happy I ever had my baby boy.
He was the best, and I am so lucky I got to be his dad.
I truly feel this way.
Key Takeaway: Writing doesnāt erase pain, but it helps you integrate itāso you can move forward.
My little Nibbler, you are still with me in my heart.
š Breakthrough: A Writing Protocol For Health
If you want to go deep into the neuroscience of why this writing protocol works, you need to listen to this episode of the Huberman Lab Podcast.
Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist at Stanford, breaks down how expressive writing changes your brain and builds emotional resilience.
Why Itās Awesome
This podcastā¦
Explains how writing literally rewires your brain for emotional regulation.
Covers the biological mechanisms behind stress, emotions, and cognitive processing.
Gives science-backed techniques to maximize the benefits of expressive writing.
If you ever needed a reason to start writing, let it be this.
š„ Challenge: WRITE
Hereās your challenge for the week:
Set a 15-minute timer.
Write about a personal or professional challenge thatās been weighing on you.
No overthinking. No filtering. Just write.
Do this for four days straight, and see what shifts.
And if you try it, reply to this emailāIād love to hear how it goes.
This takes just 15 minutes, but the impact can last for years.
You got this!
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P.S. If you havenāt already checked out my other newsletter, ABCs for Building The Future, where I reflect on my founderās journey building a venture in the open. Check out my learnings on product, leadership, entrepreneurship, and moreāin real time!
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Hey Robert, sorry to hear about Nibbler. Dogs really are part of our family and itās so hard when we lose them.
You are so right about writing! Most good leadership or personal development courses have a journaling element to them, and those that take the time to actually write get amazing insights.