π¦ π§ π¨ The Secret To Success and Happiness Is In 1 Word
The greatest leaders have mastered this skill, and you can too
Hey there! Iβm Robert. Welcome to a free edition of my newsletter. Every week, I share 1 piece of advice π, 1 breakthrough recommendation π, and 1 challenge π₯ to help product and technology leaders achieve a growth mindset, transform their communication & influence, and master their emotions. Subscribe today to become the person and leader that people love, respect, and follow.
I used to think saying βyesβ was the only way to prove my worth.
For years, I believed that to be a successful leader, I had to be "always on."
Responding on Slack after work.
Answering emails at midnight.
Taking calls during dinner.
Even on vacation, my mind was constantly working through problems.
Because I couldnβt disconnect, I feltβ¦
Overwhelmedβ¦
Anxiousβ¦
Exhaustedβ¦
And hereβs what I learned the hard way after 10 years in tech: thatβs the fast track to burnout.
My inability to say βNOβ made me less effective over time.
Sound familiar?
I used to wear my hustle badge like a badge of honor. Youβll even hear people talk about it that wayβitβs romanticized in American culture especially.
But itβs nothing to be proud of.
Sure, take pride in your hard work.
And take even GREATER pride in working hard on your life.
I learned the truthβdisconnecting and saying no isnβt a luxury, itβs a necessity.
In fact, itβs one of the most important skills you can develop as a leader.
And itβs not just for your happinessβitβs for your team, your products, your customers, and your future success.
Let me show you why.
This Weekβs ABCβ¦
Advice of the Week: How I learned to say no and disconnectβand why it changed everything.
Breakthrough Recommendation: A video that will empower you to say no.
Challenge: One small change to start the process of unplugging this week.
Advice of the Week: Why saying NO is key to better leadership
Itβs easy to say yes to anything and become distracted. I see people do it all the time (myself included).
Remember this:
Saying yes too often means saying NO to what truly matters.
Saying no more often means saying YES to what truly matters.
Youβve probably heard the saying, βYou canβt pour from an empty cup.β
You canβt.
When youβre constantly plugged in, you lose perspective.
You make rushed decisions, miss critical insights, and become reactive instead of strategic.
And the worst part?
You become exhausted, frustrated, and lose your creative edge.
It turns out that saying no is the key skill to focus & happiness.
So how do you actually disconnect and say no?
Set boundaries with your time.
Block off non-negotiable time for yourself, even if itβs just an hour. This is sacred time where you step away from work to rechargeβby yourself, with your family, with your partner, with your dogs, whatever you need. Set up a transition from work-life to home-life.Delegate and trust your team.
If youβre holding onto everything because you think you have to, stop. Let your team take ownership of their work and give them the space to succeed (and yes, fail and learn).Shift your mindset.
Realize that productivity doesnβt always mean doing more. Sometimes, it means doing less but doing it better. Give yourself permission to disconnect. There will always be more work. Itβll be there when youβre back.w
I have a saying:
Try hard, every single day, at everything - even relaxing.
Because your batteries will always need recharging⦠so you might as well go hard at that just like you go hard at work.
Why this works:
When you disconnect, you return with clarity.
You see the big picture.
You become a more thoughtful, effective leader because youβre not running on empty.
And guess what? Your team thrives too.
Theyβre less likely to burn out when they see you leading by example.
Breakthrough Recommendation: The Power of Saying No β TED Talk by Kenny Nguyen
If youβve ever struggled to balance too many commitments and felt like you were constantly stretched thin, Kenny Nguyenβs TED Talk will resonate deeply.
He walks you through how the word βnoβ can be your most powerful tool for staying focused and achieving clarity in both work and life.
Nguyen shares personal stories of how always saying βyesβ led him down a path of burnout and regret.
The turning point?
Learning to say βnoβ and realizing that it opened doors for better opportunities and more intentional focus on what truly mattered.
Why Itβs Awesome:
This talk goes against the grain of the βalways onβ culture by normalizing saying βnoβ.
I love it for that reason.
Saying No leads toβ¦
Reduced Burnout: Constantly saying βyesβ leads to stress and exhaustion. Learning to say βnoβ helps you preserve your energy.
Sharpened Focus: It allows you to prioritize whatβs truly important and cut through the noise.
Higher Confidence: Saying βnoβ empowers you to make decisions that align with your long-term goals, making you feel in control of your own direction.
My Favorite Quotes:
βThe more I said yes, the more I lost myself.β
I love this quote because It perfectly encapsulates the danger of saying yes to everything and why we need boundaries.
Iβve been there tooβlost amongst a sea of yesβs.
How Can You Say No More Effectively?
I coach and mentor a lot. Many of those I help have an issue saying no becauseβ¦
They feel bad to say no
They feel like theyβre letting somebody down
They feel like theyβre missing out
The reality is that saying βNOβ is a skills. You can build that skill, just like any other.
Try this: βHey that sounds really interesting, let me think about it and get back to you.β
Establish Non-Negotiable Boundaries In Your Schedule
Take your workout schedule, your time with family, etc. and put them in your calendar.
This makes it easier to say no when things conflict.
The work will be there, your pet/kid/partner wonβt.
And here are 3 tactical ways to say βNoβ to asks so you can achieve focus (with your team as well):
1. Offer Alternatives
β Instead of going for a straight-up "no," toss in a different solution that works for everyone.
Example: "I canβt make the meeting on Thursday, but Iβd be happy to check out the notes later and share my thoughts."
2. Highlight Mutual Goals
β Focus on common goals while pointing out why the timing or situation may not be the best for this request.
Example: "Iβm really focused on hitting our quarterly goals, thatβs why I canβt help with this one."
3. Show Empathy and Appreciation
β Acknowledge the request with some empathy and appreciation.
Example: "I totally get how important this is and I wish I could help. I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I canβt help right now."
Check out Kennyβs talk here.
What I Did This Week
This week, I had a huge βnoβ moment.
I was asked to take on a side project that sounded REALLY fun. It was super enticing to say yes.
Though, I knew deep down it would interfere with my long-term goals.
It was hard to say no, but I reminded myself of the value of focusing on what truly matters.
It didnβt feel great immediately. I thought I was missing out, and felt a little bad.
The day after I said no, I had a mountain of work to do.
I then felt a deep sense of relief that I saved myself from even more work on top of my already full plate.
Gotta keep it up.
Gotta keep focusing on what truly matters.
Challenge: Say No To One Thing
This week, challenge yourself to say NO at least once to something that doesn't serve your long-term goals.
It could be a meeting, a side project, or even a social event.
Reflect on how it makes you feel afterward.
Does it open up time for things that matter more?
You got this!
Liked this article? π Click the like button.
Feedback or addition? π¬ Add a comment.
Know someone that would find this helpful? π Share this post.
Please take a 5 second survey to help me make this newsletter better for you.
P.S. Want reminders on growth, empathy, and leadership? Follow me on LinkedIn, Threads, and Twitter.
This article was written for me! Thank you Robert