🔤 How To KILL Imposter Syndrome

My 1 formula for Imposter Syndrome, and strategies to adapt and overcome

Hey there! I’m Robert. Welcome to a free edition of my newsletter. Every week, I share 1 piece of advice 📖, 1 breakthrough recommendation 🚀, and 1 challenge 💥 to help leaders in tech achieve a growth mindset, transform their communication & influence, and master their emotions. Subscribe today to become the person and leader that people love, respect, and follow.

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Circa 2018, Workday

I was sitting in a meeting with high-profile executives listening to them discuss business and product strategy.

I nodded along, pretending to follow, while my inner monologue screamed:

"Why did they invite me? They’re going to realize I have no idea what I’m doing."

Then someone asked for my opinion.

I hesitated.

I was nervous.

Nothing in my mind came out clearly when I spoke.

My nerves got to me. I felt utterly embarrassed.

I blew a good opportunity to get more visibility, to get more high impact work.

Later, I mentioned my doubts to a long time mentor.

He laughed and smiled.

“Oh, you’re feeling imposter syndrome? Good. It means you’re growing.”

That response changed everything.

From that day on, I started using imposter syndrome as a tool for growth.

How?

Let’s dive in.

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This Week’s ABC

Advice: 1 Formula and 3 Strategies for Imposter Syndrome.

Breakthrough: A simple counterattack.

Challenge: Start smiling against imposter syndrome.

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📖 Advice: My Imposter Syndrome Equation

“If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.”

— Confucius

What if imposter syndrome isn’t a problem to solve—but a sign you’re in the right place?

If you’re in a room full of incredibly capable people, and you feel like the dumbest person there… congratulations.

You’re exactly where you should be.

The key is learning how to reframe imposter syndrome.

Instead of seeing it as a threat, use it as fuel.

I like thinking about things in terms of mathematical models. (I’m a nerd, get at me)

It’s helpful for me to understand the variables at play, and the levers I can control vs. cannot control.

Then I focus on what’s in my control.

Same thing with Imposter Syndrome.

Here’s my take on Imposter Syndrome as an equation.

Imposter Syndrome As Math

It really makes sense, doesn’t it?

Is = Imposter Syndrome Intensity → higher values equals stronger imposter feelings

C = Comparison Factor → how much you compare yourself to others

P = Perceived Expectations → how high you believe the bar is set for you

V = Validated Achievements → evidence of your competence, e.g., past wins, positive feedback

S = Self-Awareness & Reframing → your skill and ability to recognize imposter thoughts and reframe them

The intensity of imposter syndrome manifests as the anxiety,

the fears,

the “what ifs”

—all of the things that can throw off your mental game.

And your mental game is EVERYTHING in life.

I think about killing imposter syndrome as simply minimizing or eliminating the intensity of it, to keep your mental game strong.

How It Works

• The more you compare yourself to others (C) and internalize expectations that are impossibly high (P), the stronger the intensity of imposter syndrome.

• The more you validate your achievements (V) and have self-awareness to challenge negative thoughts (S), the less imposter syndrome affects you.

You’ll notice in this equation—EVERYTHING is in your control.

So focus on:

1. Increasing Validated Achievements and Self-Awareness & Reframing

2. Minimizing Comparison and Perceived Expectations.

Here’s how.

3 Steps To Kill Imposter Syndrome

1. Stop Comparing—Start Contributing

Negative Comparison and poorly Perceived Expectations fuel the bad sides of imposter syndrome.

And contribution kills it.

Instead of measuring yourself against others, focus on what you can contribute.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What experiences or perspectives do I bring to this table?

• How can I add value to the conversation?

• What unique experience do I bring to this room?

Then go DO things about it. Contribute.

You don’t need to be the smartest person in the room. You just need to offer something only you can bring.

Don’t compare. That’s a losing game.

There’s only one you in the entire world.

Your unique perspective, is your value.

Own it.

“Comparison is the thief of joy”

—Unknown

2. Own Your Own Frame

You need to own your own framing of a situation.

Your skills in Self-Awareness & Reframing are your friend here.

When your brain tells you the imposter thoughts, reframe them.

🚫 Imposter Thought: “I don’t belong here.”

✅ Reframe: “I’m in the middle of growth. Let’s get after it.”

🚫 Imposter Thought:“I’m going to be exposed as a fraud.”

✅ Reframe: “I bring a unique perspective that others don’t have.”

🚫 Imposter Thought: “Everyone here is smarter than me.”

✅ Reframe: “I get to learn from smart people. Hell yeah.”

It gets easier over time. Trust me, I know—with deep experience.

3. Get Comfortable With Uncomfortable

The best leaders intentionally put themselves in uncomfortable situations because that’s where the growth happens.

They chase it.

They’re not satisfied with being comfortable.

And if you're reading this newsletter, you're about growth—you shouldn't be satisfied with being comfortable either.

• If you’re stretching beyond your comfort zone, you’re leveling up.

• If you’re doubting yourself, you’re probably on the right path.

• If you feel like an imposter, it means you’re in a room that will push you to become better.

But what about Validated Achievements?

That’s a tricky one.

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🚀 Breakthrough: Keep A Smile File 😃

“You are not your worst day. You are all your best days combined.”

—Unknown

I used to hate looking at my own wins.

For years I lived a life where I didn't ever stop to smell the roses.

This came from childhood habits that no longer served me as an adult.

My parents were immigrants of a war-stricken country. They were hard on me. I’ve come to terms with that in lots of therapy.

When I got an A, they asked “Why is this not an A+?”.

When I got the A+, they asked me “Why aren’t you going to Stanford?”

Me: “I’m 12, Dad.”

(Shoutout, mom and dad—thanks for giving me a better life than you had. Love you.)

Perhaps some of you reading this had similar stories in the early stages of your life, where the goalposts were constantly moved.

Where you were never encouraged to stop and smell the roses, or take any amount of satisfaction in your achievements.

If that's familiar, I have the antidote:

A Smile File.

What’s a Smile File?

A Smile File is a collection of all the wins, compliments, and moments that remind you of your value.

Think of it as a counterattack against imposter syndrome.

Every time you get:

1. A glowing email from your boss or colleague

2. A kind Slack message about your impact

3. A small win that made your day

4. A personal achievement that meant something to you

Save it.

Screenshot it.

Write it down.

Put it in a folder labeled "Smile File".

Then, when self-doubt creeps in, open your Smile File and remind yourself:

You’ve done hard things before.

You’ll do them again.

This Will Feel Weird… At First

Warning: if you're not used to smelling the roses and taking any amount of satisfaction in your own wins or achievements, this is going to feel really weird at first.

It was for me. It felt foreign and not right.

That’s okay. That’s normal.

Think of it like a muscle.

You don't go to the gym and get healthy overnight after one workout.

You don't kill the imposter syndrome intensity in one reframe or one act of smelling the roses.

You need to get the reps in.

I’ve gotten thousands of reps in. It was hard work. But so worth it.

Now I feel unshakable confidence, and RUN towards the feeling of imposter syndrome—without letting it ruin my mental game.

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💥 Challenge: Make A Smile File, and Smile

Start your Smile File today.

Take 5 minutes to:

• Scroll through old emails, messages, or projects and save one thing that made you feel proud.

• If you don’t have anything handy, write down a personal win from the last 6 months.

Then, the next time imposter syndrome sneaks in, open your Smile File and remind yourself:

You’ve earned your seat at the table.

Keep getting the reps in and eventually you'll kill imposter syndrome.

You got this!

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P.S. If you haven’t already checked out my other newsletter, ABCs for Building The Future, where I reflect on my founder’s journey building a venture in the open. Check out my learnings on product, leadership, entrepreneurship, and more—in real time!

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