I almost died, here's what I learned

Bleeding out in the middle of the desert gave me an epiphany

Hey there! I’m Robert. Welcome to a free edition of my newsletter. Every week, I share 1 piece of advice 📖, 1 breakthrough recommendation 🚀, and 1 challenge 💥 to help leaders in tech achieve a growth mindset, transform their communication & influence, and master their emotions. Subscribe today to become the person and leader that people love, respect, and follow.

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“QUICK, blood transfusion!” a nurse yelled.

Buzzing lights.

Loud words.

Dizziness.

I was going in and out of consciousness after a mountain bike ride gone wrong in the middle of the desert

One helicopter ride later, I was on my second blood transfusion.

I had a shattered kidney and open compound fractured elbow. Not fun.

Definitely not fun

Good learning moment though.

I learned I was bad at mountain biking.

And in the 4 weeks that followed, I learned what it was like to lug around a pee bag and do product leadership work with 1 hand while recovering on an extended roadtrip.

I OBSESSIVELY did 6-8 hours of physical therapy everyday.

16 weeks after the incident, I was doing 1 arm pullups on that same broken arm.

Lesson learned: to truly LIVE, you must realize that your time is finite.

And nearly dying helped me learn that the hard way.

Today we’re talking about life prioritization.

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This Week’s ABC

Advice of the Week: How to think about life prioritization.

Breakthrough Recommendation: Powerful questions to audit your life.

Challenge: One easy step to take.

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Advice of the Week: Think like an investor, act like a gardener

Everybody is an investor.

Highly successful people and leaders understand this very deeply.

You invest your limited time and energy, applied to skills, to do things: build products or deliver services to return money to your bank account.

Or, you invest your time and energy…

To work on your physical fitness, that returns: higher vitality, more energy, and less likelihood of health problems.

To find or maintain relationships, that return: love, happiness, emotional support, and a sense of belonging.

→ The point is, everything you do is an investment whether you want to believe it or not.

And you have limited time and energy.

Mediocre investors are just riding along, and reactive.

Great investors are intentional, decisive, and responsive.

Think like an investor. About EVERYTHING.

I started rigorously thinking this way after my accident.

1 week after the accident I had a fire in me. I was working on “how do we make our products more inclusive?”

It was one of the best decisions I ever made and I’m glad I had the brush up against death to gain greater perspective.

Over time, I’ve refined my thinking further:

Think like an investor, act like a gardener: be rigorous with your time investments, and nurture the important things in life.

I have a big life goal: What I really want is to leave a positive impact on 1 billion people in the world, that sustains after I’m gone.

Why do I aim this high?

→ Because it’s fulfilling to even try, and I grow so much along the way.

One mentor once told me, “Self-actualization is the only game in town.”

I completely agree. It’s the only one worth playing.

I compete with myself. I don’t compete with anyone else.

So what does this mean for my time investments?

To accomplish these bigger goals, I invest my time and energy accordingly.

I minimize my time with people who don’t align with my values. I optimize time with people who align with my values.

→ This requires time spent learning myself and creating boundaries.

I don’t take my loved ones and my life for granted.

→ This requires time spent keeping in touch.

I don’t take my health for granted.

→ This requires time spent exercising and intentionally eating well.

I try to live every day to the fullest, and I get to bed tired and spent—satisfied knowing that I couldn’t get more out of the day if I wanted to.

It’s a satisfying way to live life for me.

A great mentor of mine once taught me, there are really 3 pillars of life:

• Your health: physical, mental, spiritual

• Your relationships: family, friends, lover, and dogs (okay I added the last one)

• Your work: career, business

You invest time and energy into each of these.

When your physical health is threatened, are you able to invest time and energy as meaningfully into your relationships and work?

No.

How about when you have a family health problem, are you able to invest time and energy as meaningfully into your health and your work? (if you’re disciplined, maybe your health, but even then not optimally)

HELL no.

That’s why these 3 life pillars are in this order.

Health > Relationships > Work

Put another way: If you’re a gardener, your time and energy are the seeds you plant in different areas of your life…

• You’re the gardener—so your health (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional) is what ensures the garden gets soil and water. It all starts with you. So focus on you FIRST.

• Your relationships are a bed of flowers and each one needs energy to grow and stay healthy.

• You work is a vegetable garden and the harvest depends on your own hard efforts.

Understanding this, where I choose to invest primarily is my health first and foremost.

I’ve burnt out in my career with workaholism and realized that to be my best self and achieve my goals , it all starts with being my own best friend.

If I’m not taking care of myself, how can I take care of others?

So, I hit the gym 3 times a week, and I eat healthy 95% of the time.

I’m not perfect, but I strive for progress everyday.

And I hit the mental health gym (therapy) at least once a month so I take care of my mind.

It takes discipline, and that investment compounds.

A great side effect: I have a TON of energy to apply to my pursuits because I make sure my garden is in order.

And that allows me to try to be my best self for my family as a caregiver.

It allows me to try to be the best romantic partner I can be.

It allows me to try to be the best dog dad ever.

I mean look at how happy they are

And it allows me to be the best teammate and leader I can be. (and make no mistake, I make mistakes—and I learn like a fiend)

Another frame of thinking that keeps my discipline going:

I want to be a dad some day.

→ Wouldn’t it be great if I could be healthy and fit for as long as possible to play sports with my kids?

→ To take them to do cool things like hiking and backpacking?

I don’t want to be the dad that throws out his back at 40…

→ Or has a heart attack at 50.

→ Or dies early at 60 because I chose cheeseburgers and Netflix over future quality time with my future kids.

I take care of my garden rigorously.

And it’s because of two questions I always go back to regularly.

And that brings us to today’s Breakthrough…

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Breakthrough Recommendation: 2 Questions To Prioritize Your Life

This week’s breakthrough is a bit different…

I’m going to give you 2 powerful questions that I use routinely, that help me readjust my priorities towards my short and long term goals.

You don’t need to nearly die to prioritize your life meaningfully.

Just ask yourself these two questions and really sit with them.

I guarantee you’ll find insights about whether you’re living or LIVING.

The 2 Questions:

“If you die tomorrow, would you be proud of how you’re living today?”

“If you lived this way for the next year, then died, would you be proud of that life?”

I came up with these questions after my near death accident which made me reprioritize my life rigorously.

I revisit these questions all the time.

If the answer is even SLIGHTLY no for either of these questions, I readjust my priorities.

I have that second one in there, because if it’s just the first then you’ll be YOLOing all the time.

Balance is key.

The hard truth is, you could die tomorrow crossing the street.

Life is unpredictable.

→ The only truth in life is that we all die at some point.

“To express yourself in freedom, you must die to everything of yesterday.”

—Bruce Lee

Accepting that fact of life, the best thing to do to live a happy and fulfilling life is to ensure you are intentional with your limited time.

There are many variations of this question.

They are all around mortality and finiteness of time.

“If my mom died tomorrow, how would I do things different today?” → Call your mom.

“If my partner died tomorrow, how would I do things different today?” → Kiss your partner, savor it, tell them you love them.

“If my dog died tomorrow, how would I do things different today?” → Cuddle your best friend.

If you’re honest with yourself—you will understand and accept, that there will come a time when all of these questions become true.

So why not get ahead and live life knowing that?

I’d rather get to that date and not have any regret.

That’s how I live my life.

It honestly makes me a better leader and happier person, because my foundations are solid.

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Key Takeaways:

• Intentional Time Spent: Realizing that your time is limited leads to a more fulfilling life. By accepting this, we are better equipped to prioritize what matters (health>relationships>work).

• Live with Purpose: When you acknowledge your mortality, you can begin to make more deliberate choices about how you spend your time. Every moment becomes more valuable when you understand that it’s not endless.

• Focus on Quality of Life: It’s not just about how long we live, but how well we live. This applies to how we live every day, making sure that we’re investing our time in ways that bring us and others true joy and meaning.

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What I Did This Week

This week, I audited my time investments and made a conscious effort to prioritize my health even more.

I added an extra exercise to my workout regime to keep my knees healthy and called my mom twice to tell her I love her.

I made sure I had an agenda before I went to therapy so it was a productive time at the mental health gym.

The result?

I felt more energized, more connected, and more fulfilled in my relationships and my work.

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Challenge: Audit Your Life

Ask yourself these two questions:

1. “If you die tomorrow, would you be proud of how you’re living today?”

2. “If you lived this way for the next year, then died, would you be proud of that life?”

Be honest with yourself.

Reflect on it.

Then make small changes.

Share your thoughts in the comments. (I’d love to hear from you)

You got this!

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