Hey there! I’m Robert. Welcome to a free edition of my newsletter. Every week, I share 1 piece of advice 📖, 1 breakthrough recommendation 🚀, and 1 challenge 💥 to help leaders in tech achieve a growth mindset, transform their communication & influence, and master their emotions. Subscribe today to become the person and leader that people love, respect, and follow.
Shoutout - Love The ABC Fam ❤️
I want to thank everyone who has reached out with kind words and condolences for Nibbler this past few weeks.
Apparently my last couple newsletters about Nibbler passing and what he taught me, have caused some tears among the community.
Many people reached out with shared experiences of the profound love they had with their pets, or similar stories of loss.
Thank you to those who reached out, I really appreciate it.
Dealing with the tragic loss of my best friend and little boy has been hard. Having community and love around me has helped tremendously.
Thank you for being part of the ABC Fam—I am grateful for you! ❤️
Thank you for your love and for keeping Nibbler’s spirit alive.
At the end of the post, I’ll leave you with a bunch of my favorite Nibbler pictures (:
Let’s get to this week’s newsletter.
Imagine spending every single morning for 8 years brushing your dog’s teeth.
That was a vital part of my morning routine, until I recently loss my little boy Nibbler—my best friend and companion of the past 8 years.
I have long believed that if I tried hard every single day at everything I cared about, I would get to my deathbed without regret.
I try to live that way.
So every morning since I adopted my puppies Nibbler and Poppy at 8 weeks old, I brushed their teeth.
My dog, Lucky, growing up, lost her teeth because she wasn’t chewing enough things and her teeth rotted.
I had read that this happens to little dogs often.
Because of this, I was determined to give my own dogs a great, teeth-full life.
No dogs losing teeth on my watch—that’s for damn sure.
So every morning, since they were 8 weeks old, I brushed their teeth and gave them a dental treat.
They came to expect it.
In fact, they enjoyed the ritual so much they would bark at me if I didn’t brush their teeth on time.
Even after Poppy passed, Nibbler and I continued this tradition for another 6 years.
8 YEARS of brushing dog teeth as part of my morning routine.
And I freaking loved EVERY second of it.
I got to hold them and appreciate them.
Even the morning Nibbler passed, I remember asking him “How are you so SMALL!?!?” while brushing his teeth.
It was an opportunity to remind myself how grateful I was to be their dad.
When they passed, I had ZERO regrets in not doing enough or not spending enough time with them.
I never regretted not doing more with the time I got with them.
I feel at peace with that—I feel like I gave it my all.
And I realized that this zero regret feeling was a privilege I earned through my discipline in loving them intentionally and deeply.
Welcome back to Better Person Training, a newsletter series where I explore the lessons my dogs, Nibbler and Poppy, taught me about love, growth, and being a better human.
Last week, we dove into grief as a reflection of love.
This week, we’re talking about discipline—not the kind that breaks you, but the kind that brings you peace and contentment.
This Week’s ABC
Advice: There are levels to discipline, and discipline is love.
Breakthrough: The story of how Nibbler and Poppy turned my life upside down, for the better.
Challenge: Show love this week not with words, but with action.
📖 Advice: There Are Levels To Discipline
“Discipline is the highest form of self-love”
Love is one of the most misunderstood words in our vocabulary.
We talk about it as if it’s a feeling—something you have for someone or yourself, floating in the ether of your mind.
But love isn’t just what you feel or think.
It’s what you do.
There’s a nice quote I like that exemplifies this well:
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” —Will Durant
If that’s true of excellence, it’s equally true of love.
Love, then, is not a thought, but a habit.
The habits you form, the actions you take, the discipline you show—this is what love looks like.
Love exists in the choices you make and the effort you give, day in and day out.
To yourself, to anyone around you, to your dogs, to your team.
Anything.
When I adopted Nibbler and Poppy, I didn’t just want to “love” them on paper. I wanted to give them the best possible lives, no matter what it took.
And that started with discipline.
Before Nibbler and Poppy came into my life, I thought I was disciplined.
I woke up at 6 AM, hit the gym, crushed my to-do list, and checked all the boxes of a “productive” person.
Then came two tiny, wiggling puppies, and my life flipped upside down.
They taught me: there are levels to it.
Redefining Discipline
Suddenly, 06:00 wakeup wasn’t early enough.
If I wanted to:
Hit the gym,
Feed them,
Take them on a walk,
Brush their teeth,
And spend quality time training them...
…I had to wake up even earlier.
So, I started setting my alarm for 05:00.
It wasn’t easy.
Those first mornings, my brain screamed at me to hit snooze.
But then I’d see their little faces, tails wagging, so full of life and trust.
They depended on me—how could I even think about letting them down?
Plus, I wanted to make sure they didn’t shit in the house. I never thought I would be thinking so hard about another living being’s eating and potty cycles.
BIG motivating factor.
Discipline became my love language.
And looking back, having them taught me to love myself.
Good prep for a human child someday.
So, Nibbler and Poppy got me outside on a regular basis by necessity and that built great habits.
Takeaway: In choosing to be disciplined in loving my pups, I actually reflect that I became disciplined in my own self-love.
🚀 Breakthrough: 3 Lessons In Love and Discipline
"Love is not something you feel. It is something you do."
–David Wilkerson
Here’re 3 ways discipline (and love) showed up in my life with Nibbler and Poppy.
1. Discipline is love of the highest order
Little dogs have a reputation for being yappy and out of control, but I was determined to raise the best-behaved dogs anyone had ever seen.
My hypothesis was that it wasn’t the dog—it was the owner.
So, I allocated time to train them.
Every morning, I spent time teaching them commands: sit, stay, come.
During lunch, I would work with them on recall at the park.
After work, I would take them to dog parks to socialize them with other dogs.
Every. Day.
I was determined to become the BEST dog dad.
So I did.
Takeaway: love is discipline. If I wanted to give them a good life, I had to put in effort.
2. Time and attention are all you really have
I stopped going out late.
My focus shifted from chasing fleeting fun to creating lasting joy. I found a new kind of fulfillment in being there for them, rested and ready to show up.
When I was out at a bar, I just wanted to get home to them and make sure they were okay and happy.
So eventually, I just stopped going.
I joked around that I got my Saturdays back because of the lack of hangovers.
Poppy and Nibbler helped their dad ween off alcohol 😂
Takeaway: time and attention is all you have. And I decided they were more important than fleeting experiences.
3. Your true self, can live on the other side of discomfort
My parents, who survived the Vietnam War, never understood hiking or camping.
“Why expose yourself to nature? We already survived outside,” they’d say.
But for Nibbler and Poppy, I embraced it—though it was uncomfortable at first. I never really liked hiking or the outdoors until I got them.
It made them super happy to be outside, so I pushed through the discomfort.
And we built so many great memories hiking the mountains.
At first, I did it for them—their joy was infectious, and I couldn’t deny them the happiness of being outside.
And over time, I fell in love with it too.
We started with hikes, then graduated to backpacking.
Fundamentally, Nibbler and Poppy taught me very healthy forms of self-care, and helped me get past my comfort zone to experience new things.
Takeaway: your true identities can live on the other side of discomfort. If I never got out, I would’ve never fallen in love with nature.
Now, hiking, climbing, backpacking, camping—these are all core parts of my identity.
Love Compounds If You Try Hard Enough
My goal was simple: to give Nibbler and Poppy the best lives imaginable.
I wanted people who babysat them to have zero complaints and thousands of compliments.
And it worked.
The greatest compliment I ever received?
Friends who looked after them said, “I’m inspired to adopt dogs like them because of how well-behaved and loving they are.”
And a few people I knew did exactly that.
Nibbler and Poppy became a ripple of positivity.
They inspired other people to adopt little buddies of their own, and give them a good life and a good home.
As I reflect back, I realize that my discipline—my deep love for them—led to more love in the world.
It’s like compounding interest, but with love.
Compounding love interest.
My biggest takeaway: You create more love when you love as hard as you can.
What I Did This Week
I started pushing myself to get up at 3 AM. Sleeping around 8 PM.
Working hard on everything in between (just launched a new venture).
I deemed this my “Kobe” year. I’m gonna get after it every single day with everything:
my health,
my family,
my community,
my dreams,
my work.
Why?
Because after Nibbler passed and I grieved his loss, I committed myself that this is going to be motivation fuel for me to knock it out of the park and succeed with my dreams.
Eventually, I dream of having a portfolio of companies and non-profits one day, one of which will be a non-profit dedicated to Nibbler and Poppy, to help other dogs live great lives.
Then their legacy will be helping other buddies have good homes, until the end of time.
Thank you Nibbler and Poppy, for the motivation fuel.
You’re always helping me, even when you’re not physically here.
Because love compounds.
And I’m lucky I had yours. ❤️
💥 Challenge: Try Hard
This week, I challenge you to express love in a tangible way.
For Your Family: Do something thoughtful that they’ll appreciate, no matter how small.
For Yourself: Commit to one act of self-care you’ve been avoiding.
For Your Team: Give detailed kudos and thanks to your teammates.
You got this!
Top Nibbler Picks (The Real Reason You’re All Here)
This is one of my favorite videos of Nibbler. It shows the day to day gratitude and love I had for him.
I would do this with him, every single day.
Thanks for all the cuddle meditations, Nibs.
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P.S. If you haven’t already checked out my other newsletter, ABCs for Building The Future—that’s where I have reflections on my entrepreneurial journey building an open source venture in public, and documenting my learnings along the way to solve for AI Alignment.
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